When I posted the last update
from the world of me, I didn’t expect it to be my last in over a year. Like for
many, 2019 has been quite the roller coaster. While December started of with
promise, with me being awarded “Best Children's Entertainment
Brand 2018 – UK” by LUX Life Magazines Global Excellence Awards of
2018 and the ongoing work towards my animated series, we were all very excited
for the new year ahead. But as January took hold it was evident 2019 was to be
a challenging year ahead.
Two family cancer diagnoses,
one celiac disease diagnosis, one pending, an extreme case of iron and vitamin
B12 deficiency, a dementia diagnosis and an ageing dog (that’s me). It’s quite
a lot for one small family, but as families do, we drew together in support of
each other. While the cancers have been beaten and the autoimmune diseases managed,
we still stand by helpless as we watch a beloved member of our family decline and taken away from us due to the cruellest of diseases. Dementia.
An unexpected, rapid
decline since diagnosis. Memories are lost, family members and loved ones forgotten
as confusion sets in and we all watch, hands tied as our loved one relies on
memories of a childhood suppressed. Calling out for their long-departed mother
in tears. Difficult to watch as a childhood, filled with abuse are memories
most remembered as events are relived. Forgotten family members stand by as we
work together to love and support each other. With tides between us all, we
cry, console and listen, like blind people In the darkness we feel our way
through the endless forms, meetings and legal jargon that comes with a family
member in care with dementia. We work our way through the process to make sense
of what is right for our lost loved one.
I use the word “lost”
as I feel there is no other word to describe it. A physical presence is with us
still, but the rest is gone only for brief moments of clarity, lucidness where
the old person revisits before leaving us again with only the body of the loving,
caring, beautiful person who once resided in this now empty shell.
What can we do?
How do we all live with and manage something so wicked? We live with hope, though I guess time will tell, as a family, together we follow each other down the rabbit hole of dementia.
As we kiss goodbye
to an eventful year for all, I can proclaim it’s not all been doom and gloom.
While still under non-disclosure agreements, I am limited to what I can tell
you. Just that while I take some family time to enjoy Christmas, snuggle
under a blanket in front of the fire while the snow falls and winds howl outside, it won’t be long before we, and in “we”, I mean, Mummy will be full
steam ahead for some exciting things for 2020.I hope it won't be too long before I can spill the beans on all the exciting things happening.
With much love
from
Zuma XX
P.S. I won’t leave
it so long next time, I promise.
