This weekend marks the 10th anniversary since I was violently attacked for the last time in my own home by the one person who vowed to protect me. It was the last time he would physically attack me, although the mental abuse continued to follow years after we divorced. After surgery to repair the damage he caused to my face, I laid in my hospital bed for days baffled as to how, me, a successful, intelligent woman from a middle class background would find myself in this situation. Every day since, I run the events over in my head trying to figure out a way in which I could have reacted differently to prevent such an attack. It was not the first, though I made sure (as he was so close to ending my life) that it would be the last. I live with the memories of that horrific day and the others that lead up to that final attack everyday and although diagnosed with PTDS, I will never allow what he did to me rule my life and take credit for what I have become. Unfortunately my perpetrator went on to attack others leaving them also with terrible emotional and physical scars and because of the amazing UK justice system, this man is still walking the streets (that's a whole other conversation).
The point I would like to make is that we all go through difficult times, but it's what you take from those experiences and make them work for you is what counts. Life is a series of lessons and its about owning them and learning from them no matter how terrible and using them for your own personal growth. Yes, I still have nightmares and there are times where to go out of the front door makes me want to vomit, but I will never allow one persons heinous actions depict how I live my life, after all it was him with the problem. My therapy is to keep pushing forward with my business to make it a success. I know seeing my brand on TV and in stores all over the world will be a constant reminder to him of what he did. He will never get away from it and my revenge (for want of a better word) is success within my personal and professional life.
Domestic violence does not discriminate. The after effects do not disappear. I WILL always speak out about my experience because I have nothing to be ashamed of. It's about education, speaking out and breaking down barriers to stamp out domestic violence and bullying of any kind.This experience lead me to write my books, create my award winning brand and character everyone loves and take me on an incredible journey. I am proud of that!
I am proud of me!