Life has its ways of twisting and winding taking us on a road we never expect. It is an exciting world, life is full of love and joy, ups and downs. Weird things happen and 2020 has been something out of a science fiction novel. We bob along on our merry way quite nicely for the most part, muddling along, minding our own business. Then BAM! Life decides you need another lesson to learn and it certainly a revelation when too much adventure having can really take its toll.
Luckily during lockdown Mummy was quite busy with work, it kept her occupied with some none related Zuma the Dog projects (I must state that she’s really very naughty for not working on me) and some money dripping in why others struggle to pay their rent. We felt fortunate to be able to spend longer together as a family pack, working, playing, growing free food in the garden, and generally having a nice time. As lockdown eased, we all crawled out of hibernation and that’s when reality slapped Mummy across the face with a wet fish. Now, my Mummy has been through some stuff in her time. She is a tough old bird. She has survived domestic violence, she manages autoimmune disease, which can sometimes leave her chronically fatigued for weeks, just to mention a couple of things, but grief is a new one for her.
We lost the matriarch of our family pack last month. Nanny Zuma the Dog.
While she had been ill for some time. The last couple of months she was doing well. Covid had kept us apart since March. None of the usual visits could take place. The monthly flights were put on hold and all reduced to regular phone calls and a video call once a week. It was difficult, but Mummy knew Nanny was in the right place, being cared for properly and judging by their last video call Nanny looked happy and as lucid as she had been in months. Making jokes, laughing, and gossiping as any normal mother daughter relationship. The new meds were working, Yay! And everything was great. Her departure from this world just a few days later was completely unexpected. I had never seen Mummy so upset. The loss of a parent is something we all go through and no matter how much we think we prepare; the grief hits you like a truck. Crawling and crying with dangling snot. It’s not a good look for Mummy, but I understand the emotions overtook her every being and for a while she was just not herself. Emotional relief at times like this is essential. I get very emosh when I lose my ball. Oh the grief,………….that I put the famalam through. So, I can relate.
I guess grief has several stages?
Mummy pulled herself together for the practical things. With Auntie Zuma the Dog living in the US. Us in Switzerland and Nanny in the UK a clear head was needed to organise and make decisions via three different time zones and the Covid pandemic. Another layer that life threw our way to overcome. We must remain thankful that Mummy and Auntie Zuma the Dog are very close. While some families break down at times like this my family pack pulled together, leant on each other, loved on each other, consoled each other, which goes to show that distance should never be a factor in family breakdowns. Both Mummy and Auntie worked together in their grief. Dealing with decisions, working on solutions, with practical minds they coped. It only seemed like the little things would set Mummy off. Making the big decisions for the coffin, the flowers, music, the eulogy, didn’t seem to faze her. It was the video call from an old friend, the quiet moment at dinner in a restaurant. Little moments like that which turned her back into a dribbling wreck.
Is that normal for grief?
It’s been six weeks since Nanny crossed the rainbow bridge. In that time Mummy had to drive across Europe twice and take two flights, all to ensure her Mummy had a good send off, while in a Pandemic and socially distancing during a time when all that’s needed is a hug. Since her return the twists have not stopped and believe life hasn’t yet given her the opportunity to grieve properly. I can see in her eyes, the past couple of months have weighed down on her and I can’t help thinking its time for her to think about her mental health and slow down. Something must give and I am not going to allow anxiety not caused by me creep in. (Note to self: Be nicer and more helpful to Mummy).
Can the lack of time to grieve play on ones mental health? Can emotional upset from many different incidences over a period of years be a factor of poor metal health? I guess, for now time will tell and I will most definitely be keeping an eye on my human Mummy.
With this last note, I remember Nanny Zuma the Dog with love in my doggy heart. She took care of me when Mummy was away and despite destroying many of her shoes, she loved me unconditionally. I will hold on to her forever in my heart. RIP Nanny Zuma the Dog.
P.S. Many exciting things going on. So next time we will return to a post that’s more about me, myself and I