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Friday, 15 March 2013

A more serious note - Part 1

Most of the time my blogs trend towards the humorous side of life and the fun I have most of the time as a carefree doggy living the dream with my own kids lifestyle clothing brand. They say that people (personalities) hide behind humour and I believe this is the case for most part of my life. We are all a little naughty at times and many of us have issues and this edition of my blog will give you a little in site to why I am naughty at times. It´s not just down to my breed.

Mummy and I are extremely close and we hold each other very dear. We look to each other for support and have helped each other through difficult times. We are survivors of domestic violence and as it´s been a few years since our abuser left we still have a sense of co-dependence in order to get through our trauma. I was a young pup of only two years old when our abuser left. The first two years of my life was difficult. I was witness to Mummy being hit and shouted at and even hospitalised and when Mummy wasn´t around the attention was drawn to me. Mummy has no idea what happened to me and I have no words to tell her, but she can see in my eyes the fear and trauma that I endured. She was witness to the occasion beating that took place in front of her, but she always scooped me up into her arms to protect me, so for the most part the beatings were done without her knowledge.  A lot of my time was spent hiding behind sofa´s or growling at Mr Abuser in the hope he would stop his torment and the state of stress and hyper sensitivity I currently live in is what I have only known. Mummy loves me very much and shows me a lot of love and encouragement to help me with my fears of Human men, but she feels that my anxiety is getting out of control and beyond any help she is qualified to give me.

I have seen over the years that there are a lot of help for survivors of domestic violence of the human kind. You can just Google it and where ever you look help is available. There are regular cases  in the news where women speak out as survivors to show encouragement  and help to those still enduring their traumatic experience.  Mummy has had much human support and has been able to work through her issues and come to some sort of peace and moved on. I, on the other hand can´t seem to move on and ask, but what about the dog? What about the family pet? We have emotions and feelings. We have trauma and issues. We have flashbacks and memories that we need to come to terms with.

 I am the silent witness and feel that I have been forgotten about throughout this whole healing process, where is the help for me? How do you help a dog that for 99% of the time shows love and goodness and affection yet for the 1% is fearful and anxious and has no trust for Human men? How do you help a dog who is a survivor of domestic violence?

A question for Cesar Milan I believe or perhaps we should look a little closer to home? I have a feeling some of my questions are about to be answered.

Much Love

Zuma XX


  1. Wonderful post and thank you. I too come from a family where domestic violence was the norm. I lived it from a pup to when my mum finally ended it all when she woke up in hospital. In fact it was her looking in my eyes and saw the fear and trauma and I started behaving badly too.
    Since he left (mum pressed charges) life calmed down a lot and I only shake when I hear the elevator at night. My mum got help and I feel I'm a little co-dependent but I am still trusting. In fact people have told me that over the last year my personality has become much sweeter. I guess all dogs act differently, your mum loves you as much as my mum one paw at a time. Best wags,

  2. Thank you so much for your comment and it´s comforting to know there are other doggies out there who have been through similar experiences. We, including our humans should really never have to put up with this kind of abuse, but unfortunately this can be a cruel world. We can only support each other and try to find the positive in such negative circumstances. Big doggy licks xx